Sunday, April 1, 2012

My First Mettle

About me:

My name is Jessie. I grew up in Houston, Texas. I have a horse named Spritz who really wanted to live in NYC but couldn’t fit on the subway. He lives with Chapman, the snobby bastard who snubs me because he knows he’s the perfect specimen of equus and could only ever commune with his one true master (my father), Traveller, the dopey BFG (big, friendly, gigantormaximus), Kynder, the child on too much candy. Ludo, the sweet deer-like mutt, is my mom’s biggest fan in the entire world because she makes her scrambled eggs for breakfast. My mom prefers the egg whites so she mixes the yolks for Ludo, who thinks she’s just super special and not a garbage disposal. And Barney, the new orange rescue cat who lives in the barn. My mom gives him “massage therapy sessions” and a steady stream of catnip to help him cope with the trauma of being rescued. She also feels bad because Barney is too afraid to leave the tack room for fear of the four beasts of Hades that chew on hay right outside his door. He has yet to realize they’re herbivores.

My mom and dad live at home with all four-legged misfits and my glorious, golden-haired big brother lives an hour away from them in the heart of Houston.

After high school, I went to a women’s college in Virginia. It wasn't until after orientation I realized I had just moved to Jerry Falwell's snow globe... I transferred. I transferred to a city of sex, drugs, rock n' rollaaaaa, fashion, bodegas, MoMA, dog parks, open 24hrs., TAXIS!!!!!

New York, I love you. For all the bubble popping, nose grinding, ideology ripping, competitive competing, coffee drinking, gotnothinbutthetruth enlightenment you have bestowed upon me. Don’t come to this city unless you want to learn about the truth within yourself and the sticky lies in between you and the world.

I really like: languages, graphology, bourbon, personology, reading tabloids when checking out of drugstores, impressive teas, Audrey Hepburn, Vitamin C chewables, quizzes, food, horses, Nabokov, ellipses and lipstick.

I have a particularly romantic view of life. I tend to be too positive. “Obnoxiously cheery.” Sometimes I say things with absolute certainty and I make grand conclusions which I know is ridiculous... buttttttt I have an addiction to “Eureka!” moments and earnestly crave to understand the world around me. So, sometimes I get there before I’ve actually thought it through…. but it is my blog and I shall be goddess divine.

Gold Mettle

Location:New York, NY

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